i
hate
drama.
i hate it.

i know i pretty much bring it on myself,
but it doesn't change the fact that i hate dealing with it.
so i fuck around a lot,
and i'm constantly crossing the line,
hell, why don't we just say i live on the line.
it's cool, but subsequently, i fuck up a lot.
it's like two character traits that go hand in hand,
if you fuck around a lot,
you're gonna fuck up a lot.
if you wanna have fun,
you've gotta deal with your mess when it's all over.
i can accept this.
i've learned over the years that often times my actions result in some stupid consequence,
maybe i get hurt,
maybe someone else gets hurt,
maybe something breaks,
maybe i need to be punished or something,
whatever, i can handle all that.
what i can't handle is the drama that comes with it.

apologies are more or less bullshit unless they come right away.
i hate to say it,
but it's the truth.
having to cater to people's emotional needs?
give me a fucking break.
sensitive people make me ill.
why can't you just get over it yourselves, you fuckin' pansies?

"...you called me just a person, i thought we were friends..."
shut the fuck up!
everybody is just a person to me,
don't you get it?
sure you're my friend,
but that doesn't mean you get too much special treatment.
i'm not gonna change who i am for a friend or anybody else.
i'm gonna act how i act,
how i've always acted,
no matter what.

changing for people is bullshit.
i've done it twice and each time i ended up neck deep in my own shit when they decided they weren't into it anymore.
fuck people,
i won't change for anyone.
i may be a cocky, selfish ass hole,
but at least i know where i stand,
and no whiny "friend" is gonna make me change that.
so do what you want,
frankly, i don't give a shit.
everything has had a good run and i wouldn't feel bad if things had to end here.
it'd be a shame that something so small can be blown up so big,
i mean, at this point, i 'd sooner just say it was behind us,
barring this blog, i've moved on.
but if you need time to cry,
then you go right ahead.
i'm sorry, but it's just not my bag.

this is a solid situation,
i know what happened,
i took the correct actions to fix it,
and i know where i stand.
if you need time to think through shit,
then you take that time,
but don't expect me to comfort you in your reflections because when it comes down to it,
i think this whole thing is stupid.

just another fucking chapter to a book that nobody wants to read...