"Yeah, I am sick and tired of people who are living on the B-list.
Yeah, they're waiting to be famous,
and they're wondering why they do this.
And I know I'm not the one who is habitually optimistic,
But I'm the one who's got the microphone here so just remember this:
Yeah, well life is about love, lost minutes and lost evening,
About fire in our bellies and about furtive little feelings,
And the aching amplitudes that set our needles all a-flickering,
And they help us with remembering that the only thing that’s left to do is live.

After all of the loving and losing, after all the heroes and the pioneers,
The only thing that's left to do is get another round in at the bar..."

"and i'm definitely going to hell,
but i'll have all the best stories to tell..."

i think i'm in love with frank turner...

lately, i've become more aware of my being and it's kinda freaking me out.
sometimes i just stop and listen and stare and all of a sudden things get distorted.
i don't know whether they seem more real to me or more fake to me,
but i know that things definitely become more apparent to me.
sometimes i can't believe i'm living;
like i'm here and things are happening.
it's overwhelming.
i start breathing real heavy sometimes,
like an asthma or panic attack,
but i'm fine and i know i'm fine,
so it stops.
sometimes too,
i see myself doing one thing and then acting out another,
stupid harmless things usually but different all the same.
for example,
walking between buildings on campus today,
i came across this tree with a mound of snow at it's base.
i saw myself whipping my bottle of water into the snow, kicking the tree trunk so it shook, then maybe trying to climb the tree just to see if i could, and laughing, lots of laughing.
in reality,
i walked right past it,
left only to wonder what it would have been like if i'd done what i'd envisioned.
would i have gotten in trouble?
would people have thought i was crazy?
would somebody have joined me?
did i just miss a chance to make a great friend?

"hold it high and hit it, you know i like it like that..."

"there was an avalanche..."

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
it goes;
smokey lids, kid chameleon.
moo-zach, heavy-head crayons.
brain in chest, dis place - stomach.
footloose-ish math for listening.
eyes mama love, m.g.m.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"distraction,
bare witness to fall of man,
we're making quite a little scene,
you'll never hear about it..."

i love art...

i am naked.
i like being naked.
i kinda wish i could be naked more often.
i don't think i'd like to be a nudist though.
just naked for significant periods of time.
i like being naked by myself.
i don't think i'm comfortable enough with my body to get naked with a lot of people,
only a small group of people i trusted.
i bet if everyone was naked more often we'd trust each other more.
i like being naked...

family is comfort.
family is truth.
over this vacation,
because of my work schedule,
i've almost been forced to spend my free time with my family as opposed to my friends,
and while i really miss my friends,
i've enjoyed my time with family.

today we were talking about opening a family restaurant.
three of us already work in restaurants;
there's your kitchen manager, first cook, and experienced server.
lexi worked in a restaurant at one point,
and andrew, well he's really really good at "taste testing."
it'd be fun to have a family restaurant.
i suggested a characterized menu by our tastes:
mom - plain food
dad - interesting food
lexi - plain-interesting/average food
andrew - heart attack food
me - healthy food
it'd be fun.
live music, art on the wall, fun family atmosphere,
we'd have a sweet fuckin' restaurant;
something for everybody.

even when things get shitty elsewhere,
i'll always love my family...