i am incapable of not talking about myself or something having to do with me.
i came to that realization today as the idea was presented multiple times through many different mediums.
it should also be pointed out that this isn't such a terrible thing,
in fact it's quite normal.
many of history's greatest thinkers were dumbfounded by some of the simplest concepts until they were able to experience it first hand or apply it in a way that made them give a shit.
maybe i'm searching for reasons to give a shit?

i always try to put myself on another level.
i want my opinion to be important so i put it up on a pedestal and structure everything i say around my chosen set of ideas for the time being;
kinda like my brain's top 40.
i push these ideas like their gospel because i want them to be,
when in all honesty they're just another song of the week.

sometimes i think i'm pretty gullible, naive, and easily swayed,
but those thoughts are always followed by the concept that maybe i just don't know what i want yet.
that idea, for some reason, seems more reasonable to me;
i can accept that.
i don't want to be gullible, naive, or easily swayed.

musically,
i've tried to start putting a little more story in my songs.
i just realized, however, that there is more story in my songs than i've been aware of.
the story is mine.
i often see my lyrics as self-centered,
but right now i understand that they're just character-centered,
and it would appear that i am the character.
i'm telling my story through my songs.
i write first-person narratives.
when i put it like that, i don't seem so self-centered.
this makes me out to be more of a protagonist than a cocky prick,
but than again, i may be both,
only the songs will tell...