have you ever thought about how nothing matters?
it's a grim concept,
i'll admit,
but isn't it kinda true?

i mean, think about it.
just ask yourself that age old cliche of a question,
"why are we here?"
i know it might seem stupid,
but seriously do it and try to come up with some sort of answer.

you can't.
it is impossible to come up with a definitive rational answer to that question.
the way i see it there is ultimately two trains of thought,
but neither actually answers the question.

one:
you could take the spiritual route and say that we're here to prepare ourselves for the eternal afterlife,
that life as we know it is just a buffer for something greater,
that our human lives are simply some sort of divine educational tool to teach us spiritual lessons and test our faith.
but i'd hardly call that rational.
i mean, if our lives are just a buffer for something else,
then there is good reason to believe that something else was a buffer for us and so on and so forth.
now my issue with that is that i don't recall any previous life right now,
so what's to say that it won't be the same in some other afterlife?
what's to say we won't begin that life as blank as we were when we were born here?
hell, what's to say it won't just be the same old shitty place there that it is here?
there's just too many loop holes and things to consider.
the thought of an afterlife is intriguing no doubt,
but just too much of a long shot for me.
of course, if you asked me,
i'd tell you that there is a 50/50 chance that some sort of spiritual afterlife exists,
either it does or it doesn't,
but i think realistically that the evidence leans more towards the negative.
it is unfortunate but true.

two:
you could take the path of the hippie/biologist,
the natural, "circle of life" sort of approach.
under this train of thought,
you might say that we are here as a part of some sort of life cycle,
that we and every other organism on the planet is here for the purpose of peaceful and harmonious coexistence.
this i think is much more true than the preceding idea but still,
does it really give us a purpose?
no, it doesn't.
there is no definitive purpose.
this answer only tells us what we are apart of while we are here,
it does not answer the 'why',
and without that 'why' answer,
there is no specified purpose to our lives.
we are brought right back to where we started,
with the question, "why are we here?"

taking everything i have just told you into consideration,
the best answer that i can come up with is this:

no reason.

that's it.
we are here for no reason.
so many people huffin' and puffin' over the topic and the answer is as simple as that,
there is no reason for us to be here,
no reason for us to be living life.
life does not matter.
nothing matters.

we go to school for years...
for nothing.
we focus our lives to working and succeeding...
for nothing.
we even waste our lives searching for things like love and happiness...
for nothing.
everything we do is for meaningless.
nobody wants to hear it and it sucks to say,
but in all honesty,
nothing matters.

now, some people would call me a pessimist.
they'd say that i'm an incredibly negative person and i have a horrible outlook on life.
well i disagree.
i think i'm a realist,
and the unfortunate and simple reality is that our lives are meaningless on a large scale.
i'm seen as negative because our society has labeled this idea as negative,
but that's not what i'm going for.
i'm not trying to be negative or positive,
i'm just trying to figure things out...