why would she do that?
i don't understand people or why they do things.
how fucked up it makes my head,
wondering about people.
why they do things,
every implication they are trying to make,
every goal they are trying to reach by making any obscure statement.
i just want to know what people are talking about.

lack of communication is the reason for most every conflict on the fucking planet.
and yet still people lie,
and people hide their true feelings,
their real intentions.

why can't we just say what we mean and mean what we say.
i guess the simplest answer would be that not many people really know what they mean.
and even if they did,
they wouldn't know how to say it,
or even just express themselves.
i don't know myself.
i don't know what i ever really mean,
and i definately have no clue how to express myself.
and it ticks me off that i can't do some thing as simple as express myself.
i mean, don't get me wrong,
i'm not incapable of expression or feelings,
i just generally don't know what i want.

it makes me feel sad and lost.
like no one will ever really understand me because i will never be able to understand myself.
what a horrible thought...