"you have a good mind."

why do people tell me these things?
professors pull me aside to tell me things like this.
they all want me to change my major so that they could deal with me more.
classes stop to acknowledge me.
even classmates tell me they hope to take classes with me next semester.
i was second pick in a class of some very talented people.
why?
what do these people see?
i'm only an average student at best,
and yet people act like i'm something special.
i don't feel special,
i feel like i'm full of shit,
and i feel bad because these people buy it.
i understand concepts and i have basic communication skills.
half the time i don't even do my work.
i haven't really read a book since the second grade!
why am i special?
at what point did i become a scholar?
i'm on the dean's list for fuck's sake!
is the system really that flawed that someone as full of shit as i am can become a respected scholar?
why am i special?!
do i really understand that much more about things than people?
i don't think so.
i don't think i understand any more or less than anybody.
is it the thought process people are after?
do i really think that differently from most people?
am i just like a program?
an application that redirects it's users to all of the difficult to reach places of their minds?
is that my place?
how unfulfilling to be a go-fer.
so this is what life's like for a search engine...