i have a headache.
i've said that phrase a lot throughout my blogs.
why do i always write when i have a headache?
i don't know.
anyways...

my throat is sore from the pats game yesterday,
but i don't mind.
it was sweet,
i had an excellent time,
even considering that i was sitting next to chuck.
he's not so bad i guess.
kinda wimpy,
likes to think he knows more than he does,
probably not the best my sister could get,
but he's not so bad.

my mom has been saying that she misses brad lately though.
he was around for almost 7 years.
that's a long time.
he was there for a lot of memories,
it's understandable.
i wonder if he ever misses us?
i mean, i'm sure he might miss lexi occasionally,
but i wonder if he misses the rest of our family?
after all, he was pretty much my "older brother figure."
maybe he misses me like a little brother?
i don't know.

it's hard to decide whether or not i really miss him.
he was around a long time,
but then he just left.
i was too young,
it wasn't really my business,
i don't have all the details,
but what i do know is that one day he was here,
being his usual bitchy hard ass self and all wasn't awesome,
but it was ok.
then he left and things changed.
people started getting upset with him and he wasn't here to defend himself so it stuck.
my sister was confused.
i was confused.

my mom regrets her decision on him, i think.
it wasn't really her choice to make.
was it the smart one?
maybe, but that's beside the point.

i think lexi still gets christmas cards from his aunt and mom.
they probably miss her the same way that my mom misses him.
personally, i just don't know.
he was around for a long time.
he taught me a lot more than i think either of us realized at the time.
it's hard when a person with so much influence over you just leaves for no apparent reason.
i don't know if i miss him,
but i definitely wonder if he misses me...